Pourquoi ne pas être (tout le temps) dans l'empathie avec vos prospects

Empathy. This human trait is something that is often discussed throughout the sales process. However, it can play tricks on you in a sales context.

Of course, we need to empathise with our prospects. In sales, the logic is that if they like us, they will naturally want to purchase our service or product. So, because we want to please them, they ask questions about our products and we answer them, hoping that our response will satisfy them. Or, in the case of customer success professionals, our customers want this or that from us. And so, by agreeing, we develop the relationship. At least, that's what we think... Indeed, while empathy is necessary, there are also reasons why, in a business relationship, not showing empathy can be useful. Or, in other words, showing too much empathy can be counterproductive. I've lost count of the number of CEOs or CROs who tell me that their teams don't understand their prospects or that their CSM teams find it difficult to say no to their customers. In trying to understand the causes of this problem, one of the main reasons, in my opinion, is that they empathise too much with their prospects and customers.

Here are three reasons why we should not (always) empathise with our prospects or customers.

Our customers and prospects do not know what they really need.

There is often this impression that customers and prospects know what they need. Obviously, this is not the case. One of the phrases I fight against is the salesperson asking their prospects, "What are your needs?" Ideally, what solution would you like? I am, of course, referring to cases where the solution (or product) being sold is somewhat complex. In the case of very simple products and transactional sales, there is a good chance that customers know what they want. But this is not the case for solutions that are even slightly complex. It is therefore necessary to demonstrate leadership so that the ideal solution, which is often the most expensive, is implemented. However, all too often, salespeople tend to agree to do what their prospects want to do. They are not assertive enough with their prospects. Prospects do not follow the recommended recommendations. This leads to internal implementation costs because the Ops teams are mobilised to deploy, for example, solutions that are not ideal. And, since the prospect has not implemented this ideal solution, they "churn".

The solution, therefore, is for our prospects to accept this leadership. Getting them to accept this leadership involves implementing a consultative sales process driven by the sales representative. When the prospect senses that a sales representative understands their challenges, then and only then are they in a position to accept the implementation of a solution that they had not imagined or did not know about before. Often at a higher cost than they had imagined investing.

The one who cares the less

Have you ever been in the early stages of a romantic relationship where your partner showed too much interest in developing the relationship? Messages that were a little too frequent. A desire to organise lots of things together. Or any other example of a desire to move faster than you had planned? And in that case, do you remember how you felt about that behaviour?

There is a psychological dynamic in human relationships whereby the person who cares the least about a relationship controls that relationship. In English, the established expression is: "the one who cares the least is the one who controls the relationship". The principle of least interest. A few lines on this subject can be found here (in English). Often observed in romantic relationships, this dynamic is no less valid in the context of sales. Salespeople must therefore subtly indicate that they do not need the potential contract that the prospect may bring. Too many salespeople seek to qualify their prospects. In a consultative sales process where the interests of both the prospect and the salesperson are protected, it is more powerful to seek to disqualify our prospect than to qualify them, and to let them qualify themselves through our questions. Turn the sales process into a buying process. When we understand the prospect's real reasons for wanting to work with us, the problems and frustrations they encounter, then the desire to move forward is shared. I would go even further. We can transform the sales process into a buying process.

The danger of the status quo, also known as mediocrity

Selling in B2B means introducing change (I'm talking about real solutions here, not superficial offers, which also exist in B2B). But if the solution sold by a salesperson has an impact on the organisation, it introduces change. And change is hard. So a salesperson's number one competitor is often the status quo. That the prospect does nothing. Implementing a consultative sales process allows you to understand a prospect's issues. However, having too much empathy with the prospect means you are unable to challenge them when they express reluctance to implement the necessary change. So you remain in a mediocre situation.

"Bad empathy" is admitting that it's difficult. "Good empathy" is politely and tactfully reminding our prospects of the frustrations they have shared, to remind them that we are there to help them get out of a situation they are unhappy with. Because selling is helping, nothing more, nothing less.

It takes two to tango... Meeting the needs of both the prospect and the salesperson

During a recent session with a client, the sales representative relayed a comment made by one of her prospects. During the first or second meeting, the prospect said to her, "I need to be certain that your solution works." " This remark is perfectly legitimate: the prospect needs to be reassured about the technology being offered. But often, the prospect forgets one essential point: it is just as important for the sales representative to be reassured about the prospect. Their genuine interest in solving their problem, their ability to invest, the availability of budget, etc. It's a two-way street. It takes two to tango, as the Anglo-Saxons say. The salesperson also needs to have confidence — in themselves, but also in the soundness of the client's project and their willingness and ability to solve the identified challenges. And they must not hesitate to push back, to challenge the prospect before entering into premature elaboration. They must not fall into a soft empathy that would consist of admitting that only the prospect needs to be reassured.

In the case mentioned above, the phrase defined to manage this situation of the prospect who needs to be "reassured" was: "I understand, that's perfectly legitimate. For my part, we have worked with technology organisations like yours that needed reassurance about the technology. And who subsequently did not follow through. I'm sure that won't be the case here, but would it be reasonable, Mr Prospect, for me to understand your situation, your various challenges and your ability to invest in our technology so that I can first determine whether I can help you or not, and then present you with the most appropriate elements of our solution?" By doing this, the salesperson is able to demonstrate that he or she is confident. And in doing so, establish a relationship of equals with the prospect. This is a far cry from the traditional "master-servant" relationship too often seen in sales processes.