6 ways to listen better to your prospects when selling
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In the previous post, I talked about the 4 reasons why we find it hard to listen to others. And the impact this has on the sales results. Listening to others attentively is complex. Fortunately, there are ways of improving our listening skills.
Here are a 4 ways that I apply in my life and that I help my clients to implement in transformation programmes with their teams.
1- Being more nurturing.
If you're familiar with transactional analysis, you'll be familiar with the concept of the nurturing parent. To put it very briefly, it means demonstrating attention to the other person. I strongly suggest you read about Eric Bernes Transaction analysis or the book "I am ok, you're ok". But in a simple way, and in the sales process, this is translated in a simple way by using a little verbal strokes. For example: "Ah yes, that sounds like a difficult situation". Or "Oh, I see, thank you for sharing this".
2- Take of a support approach rather than a shift approach.
Have you ever noticed, in a business or social conversation, person A explaining a situation in which they find themselves, and hearing person B reply "Oh yes! I know exactly what you mean. I've had the same problem". And person B starts to unpack the details of the experience he or she has encountered. Or even elaborate on what person A should do?
I imagine that you don't behave this way, ever… (#evilgrin) but this is typically what we call having a shift approach. Person B shifts the focus of the conversation from A to them. A classic example of human interaction and sales, unfortunately. In sales, the prospect says something and the salesperson pounces on it to elaborate on their product or service.
It's more useful to have a "support" approach that keeps the conversation on Person A. For example, using verbal strokes and digging deeper to understand the person's context and perspective, how they're feeling, etc....
"Oh yes, I see, that sounds like a difficult situation. Tell me more, why do you think this happened?" or "Ah, sorry to hear that, tell me more, how did you manage the situation?".
3- Be convinced that you have €5 million in your bank account.
Imagine walking into a sales meeting with the calm certainty that there’s €5 million sitting in your bank account. You don’t need this deal. You're not desperate. You're not trying to prove anything. That mindset shift - though fictional - is powerful. It frees you from pressure, stops the mental noise and lets you fully focus on the person in front of you. Instead of selling, you’re listening. Instead of pushing, you’re understanding. And paradoxically, that’s exactly what makes you more compelling and trustworthy. Confidence - real or imagined - creates space for authentic connection. And helps you focus on the only question that matters:
Can I help this person or not?
4- Know your communication style.
We don't know ourselves. We think we do. Psychometric profiling enables us to understand how we communicate and therefore what we can improve. There are many benefits to knowing yourself better, but when it comes to active listening, two types of profile tend to have a more self-centred communication style: the I and D profiles. These profiles have an additional handicap when it comes to implementing active listening with their prospects. More details on this topic in this white paper.
5- Use meditation.
Our lives are hectic and our agendas are hectic. We go from one meeting to the next. In a sales context, we go into a prospect or customer meeting without having cleared our heads. And during the meeting, we still have in mind all the problems, worries and other preoccupations that we have and that prevent us from concentrating on the present moment. A regular meditation habit, or even just a short one for a few minutes before a meeting, helps us to clear our minds.
6- Use a journal
All the approaches above require us to change our habits. And change, as we know, is difficult. It's a daily task. So it's important to remind ourselves every day, by keeping a daily journal, of the habits and techniques we want to put in place to listen more effectively to our prospects.
What about you? What do you do?
These are just a few examples, of course. There are a lot of "soft skills" to develop if we want to listen better and sell better. What habits have you put in place to improve your listening skills and, where appropriate, those of your teams and colleagues?
I also produce occasional notes on these subjects on Linkedin if you'd like us to connect.
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Hervé Humbert
Founder